[nilesfunnies] Fw: Sir Thos Beecham

Sir Thos Beecham
During a rehearsal one day, Sir Thomas Beecham was dismayed to find that
one of his players was not keeping proper time. "We cannot expect you to
be with us the whole time," he said, unleashing his wit on the hapless
musician, "but perhaps you would be kind enough to keep in touch now and
again?"



Thomas Beecham was once asked whether it was true that he preferred not to
have women in the orchestra. Indeed it was: "The trouble is if they are
attractive it will upset my players," he explained, "and if they're not it
will upset me."



While rehearsing Handel's Messiah one day, Thomas Beecham turned to the
choir to deliver a request: "When we sing 'All we, like sheep, have gone
astray,'" he said, "might we please have a little more regret, and a
little less satisfaction?"


Sir Thomas Beecham stopped an orchestra during rehearsal and speaking to
the lead (lady) cellist said 'Madam, you have Gods greatest gift to
mankind between your legs and all you can do is sit there and scratch
it'!...



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