[nilesfunnies] Fw: Control Tower
Control Tower
Supposedly excerpts of the most curious but authentic radio communications
between Cockpit and Tower Air Controllers
Tower: To avoid noise, please turn right 45 degrees .
Pilot: What noise could we possibly make at 35.000ft?
Tower: The noise your 707 will make when colliding with the 727 before
you!'
Tower: Are you an Airbus 320 or 340?
Pilot: An A 340, of course!
Tower: Well then, would you please start your other two engines before
taxiing to take-off?'
Pilot: Good morning, Bratislava.
Tower: Good morning. Please note: This is Vienna.
Pilot: I am now on landing approach to Bratislava.
Tower: This really is Vienna.
Pilot: Vienna?
Tower: Yes.
Pilot: But why? We wanted to go to Bratislava.
Tower: 'Okay. Then abort your landing approach and turn left.'
Pilot from an Alitalia flight, who lost half his cockpit instruments when
lightning hit him: We nearly lost everything. Nothing works anymore. Even
the altitude indicator doesnt show anything ........
After 5 minutes complaining, the voice of another pilot comes over the
comm: Oh shut up and die like a man!'
Pilot: Were running low on fuel. Please advise.
Tower: 'What is your position? We dont have you on our scope.
Pilot: Were standing on runway 2 and are waiting for an eternity for the
fuel truck.'
Pilot: Tower, request take-off clearance.
Tower: 'Sorry , we dont have your flightplan. Where do you want to go?
Pilot: Like every Monday, to Salzburg.
Tower: But today is Tuesday!
Pilot: 'What? Then its our day off!'
Tower: Height and position?
Pilot: I am 1.80 m and Im sitting in the front on the left side.'
Tower to a private plane: How many souls on board?
Pilot: 'Pilot, two passengers and a dog.
Tower, after a hard landing: I take it the dog did that landing?'
Tower: Do you have enough fuel or not?
Pilot: Yes.
Tower: Yes, what?
Pilot: Yes, Sir!!!'
Tower: Please give us your estimated arrival.
Pilot: 'Hmmmm... Tuesday would be nice for me.'
--
Niles, Nottingham |
ICQ UIN 12724766 | Even Rocky had a montage!
outpages.com/nilex |
www.niles.org.uk/blog |
------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor --------------------~-->
In low income neighborhoods, 84% do not own computers.
At Network for Good, help bridge the Digital Divide!
http://us.click.yahoo.com/S.QlOD/3MnJAA/Zx0JAA/ZkgolB/TM
--------------------------------------------------------------------~->
<< Home