[nilesfunnies] Fw: Jewish Mothers Revealed
1. The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why
Jewish women like Chinese food so much. The study
revealed that this is due to the fact that Won Ton
spelled backward is Not Now.
2. There is a big controversy on the Jewish view of
when life begins. In Jewish tradition, the fetus is not
considered viable until it graduates from medical
school.
3. Q: Why don't Jewish mothers drink?
A: Alcohol interferes with their suffering.
4. Q: Have you seen the newest Jewish-American-
Princess horror movie?
A: It's called "Debbie Does Dishes."
5. Q: Why do Jewish mothers make great parole
officers?
A: They never let anyone finish a sentence.
6. Q: What's a Jewish American Princess's favourite
position?
A: Facing Bloomingdale's.
7. When the doctor called Mrs. Liebenbaum to tell her
that her check came back, she replied, "So did my
arthritis."
8. A man called his mother in Florida, "Mom, how are
you?" "Not too good," said the mother. "I've been very
weak."
The son said, "Why are you so weak?"
She said, "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days."
The son said,"That's terrible. Why haven't you eaten in
38 days?"
The mother answered, "Because I didn't want my
mouth to be filled with food if you should call."
9. A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his
mother he has a part in the play. She asks, "What part
is it?"
The boy says, "I play the part of the Jewish husband."
The mother scowls and says, "Go back and tell the
teacher you want a speaking part."
10. Q: Where does a Jewish husband hide money from
his wife?
A: Under the vacuum cleaner.
11. Q: How many Jewish mothers does it take to
change a light bulb?
A: None. (Sigh) Don't bother. I'll sit in the dark. I don't
want to be a nuisance to anybody.
12. Short summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried
to kill us, we won, let's eat.
13. Did you hear about the bum who walked up to a
Jewish mother on the street and said, "Lady I haven't
eaten in three days."
"Force yourself," she replied.
14. Q: What's the difference between a Rottweiler and
a Jewish mother?
A: Eventually, the Rottweiler lets go.
15. Jewish mothers telegram: "Begin worrying. Details
to follow."
And a quick goyim (non-Jewish) joke:
Two goyim meet on the street, and one says to the other: "Hey, how are you
doing?"
And the other one says: "Oh, can't complain."
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