[nilesfunnies] Fw: The message that this lot turned up in claimed that they are all actual

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The message that this lot turned up in claimed that they are all actual
"Personal ads" in the Dublin News. I have my doubts. However, in
the spirit of the day, I offer you these ...

Heavy drinker,35, Cork area. Seeks gorgeous sex addict interested in a man
who loves his pints, cigarettes, Glasgow Celtic Football Club and starting
fights on Patrick Street at three o'clock in the morning.

Bitter, disillusioned Dublin man, lately rejected by long-time fiance,
seeks decent, honest, reliable woman, if such a thing still exists in this
cruel world of hatchet-faced bitches.

Ginger haired Galway man, a trouble-maker, gets slit-eyed and shirty after
a few scoops, seeks attractive, wealthy lady for bail purposes, maybe
more.

Bad tempered, foul-mouthed old bastard, living in a damp cottage in the
arse end of Roscommon, seeks attractive 21 year old blonde lady, with a
lovely chest.

Devil-worshipper, Offaly area, seeks like-minded lady, for wining and
dining, good conversation, dancing, romantic walks, and slaughtering cats
in
cemeteries at midnight under the flinty light of a pale moon.

Limerick man, 27, medium build, brown hair, blue eyes, seeks alibi for the
night of February 27 between 8 PM and 11:30 PM.

Optimistic Mayo man, 35, seeks a blonde 20 year old double-jointed super
model, who owns her own brewery, and has an open-minded twin sister.