[nilesfunnies] Quaylerisms

------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor --------------------~-->
In low income neighborhoods, 84% do not own computers.
At Network for Good, help bridge the Digital Divide!
http://us.click.yahoo.com/S.QlOD/3MnJAA/Zx0JAA/ZkgolB/TM
--------------------------------------------------------------------~->

Quayleisms
>From http://www.meyerweb.com/other/humor/quayle.html

Out of the Mouths of Quayles...

The former Vice President of the United States of America was, if nothing
else, good for an occasional mind-boggling quote. I received a list of
some of his bon mots via e-mail, and couldn't pass up the opportunity to
preserve it for posterity.

My personal all-time favorite Quayle Quote:

"Mars is essentially in the same orbit... Mars is somewhat the same
distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures
where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that
means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle, 8/11/89

As you will see, however, this is by no means the end of Mr. Quayle's
interesting perspective on life. Just remember: this man could still
become President someday. Sleep well tonight, okay?

"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was
that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those
people." -- not J. Danforth Quayle; see snopes.com/quotes/quayle.htm
for the full story

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
-- J. Danforth Quayle

"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and
child." -- Vice President Dan Quayle

"Welcome to President Bush, Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle

"What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being
very wasteful. How true that is."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle

"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in
this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in
this century." -- Vice President Dan Quayle, 9/15/88

"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and
democracy - but that could change."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle, 5/22/89

"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and
that one word is 'to be prepared'."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle, 12/6/89

"May our nation continue to be the beakon of hope to the world."
-- The Quayles' 1989 Christmas card
[But not a beacon of literacy, apparently.]

"Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle, 11/30/88

"We don't want to go back to tomorrow, we want to go forward."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle

"I have made good judgements in the Past. I have made good judgements in
the Future." -- Vice President Dan Quayle

"The future will be better tomorrow."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle

"We're going to have the best-educated American people in the world."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle, 9/21/88

"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm
commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle

"I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle

"I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle

"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle

"When I have been asked during these last weeks who caused the riots and
the killing in L.A., my answer has been direct and simple: Who is to blame
for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings?
The killers are to blame." -- Vice President Dan Quayle

"Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having
it."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle, 5/20/92 (reported in Esquire, 8/92)

"Murphy Brown is doing better than I am. At least she knows she still has
a job next year."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle, 8/18/92

"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle, 9/22/90

"For NASA, space is still a high priority."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle, 9/5/90

"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle, 9/18/90

"The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Dan
Quayle may or may not make."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle

"We're all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you on the
mistakes we may or may not have made."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in
our air and water that are doing it."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle

"[It's] time for the human race to enter the solar system."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle

"Public speaking is very easy."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle to reporters in 10/88

"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle to Sam Donaldson, 8/17/89

"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and
have a tremendous impact on history."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle