nilesfunnies

Thursday, July 21, 2005

[nilesfunnies] Fw: Olympic bid


Olympic bid
The people of East London have been successful in their bid to host
the 2012 Olympics. However there has been a request that some on the
events and traditions are modified in order to give the locals a
greater chance of winning medals:

100-metre sprint: - Athletes must complete the course in Barking
High Street with a dvd player under one arm and a microwave under the
other.After 20 metres a Police dog will be released in each lane.

Boxing: - This will be restricted to husband and wife teams and the
final will take place in the local community centre on a saturday
night.
The husband must down at least 12 pints in the Kings Arms before
encountering his wife, where she will announce one of the following
(a) there's **** all for your tea
(b) our Tracey is up the duff
(c) I'm up the duff
(d) Pauline at number 12 is up the duff and she is saying its yours!.

Tug of War: - Chains will be fixed to one of the cash points at the BP
garage in Lower Dagenham and the winning team will be the ones who
can haul it out the quickest.

Equestrian Events: - Horses, ponies, donkeys and assorted nags can
be collected from the fields behind Upton Park and medals will be
awarded for tethering them in the most unusual places.

Walking: - Athletes must be accompanied by a Pitbull Terrier, Doberman,
German Shepherd or Whippet. Ferrets and Pushchairs do not count.

The Olympic flame will also be slightly different. The lighting
ceremony will go ahead in time-honoured tradition by torching a Ford
Escort XR3i.

--
Niles, Nottingham |
ICQ UIN 12724766 | eh up medcuk
www.niles.org.uk/blog |
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