nilesfunnies

Thursday, July 28, 2005

[nilesfunnies] [Fwd: Fw: One's for the ladies]

One's for the ladies

My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, "This will make
you happy tonight." He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I
squirted it all over the doorknobs and he couldn't get back in.

A couple are lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the
happiest woman in the world." The woman says, "I'll miss you."

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumour.

He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to
you really badly. She said - Well, you've succeeded.

He said 'Shall we try swapping positions tonight?'. She said 'That's a
good idea... you stand by the ironing board and I'll sit on the sofa and
fart'.

He said 'What have you been doing with all the grocery money that I
gave you?' She said, 'Turn sideways and look in the mirror you fat
bastard'.

Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes plus foreplay.