[nilesfunnies] Fw: 48 Dirty Jokes

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48 Dirty Jokes

(I took out the crap ones)

Some old ones.. some not so old..

7. How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party?

The cake jumps out of the girl.

12. Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?

Because everybody who can run, jump & swim are already in the US.

14. What's the difference between getting a divorce & getting
circumcised?

When you get a divorce, you get rid of the whole prick!

18. What's the definition of a Yankee?

Same thing as a "quickie", only you do it yourself.

19. How can you tell if a valentine card is from a leper?

The tongue's still in the envelope.

23. Why do seagulls have wings?

To beat the gypsies to the tip.

24. Why did God invent alcohol?

So ugly people can get laid.

25. How do you get three little old ladies to say the "F" word?

Have a fourth one yell "Bingo!" or "house!"

29. Why don't blind people skydive?

It scares the shit out of the guide dog.

31. How do you make a dog drink?

Put it in a liquidizer.

32. What's got four legs & an arm?

A rottweiler.

33. What do you do if your boiler explodes?

Buy her some flowers.

37. What is the biggest problem for an atheist?

No one to talk to during orgasm.

40. How can you tell soap operas are fictional?

In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed.

41. Jewish dilemma:

Free PORK.

44. Why do men take showers instead of baths?

Pissing in the bath is disgusting.