nilesfunnies

Friday, September 23, 2005

[nilesfunnies] Fw: In a tiny village on the Irish coast lived an old lady, a virgin and very


In a tiny village on the Irish coast lived an old lady, a virgin and very
proud of it.

Sensing that her final days were rapidly approaching, and desiring to make
sure everything was in proper order when she dies, she went to the town's
undertaker (who also happened to be the local postal clerk) to make the
proper "final" arrangements.

As a last wish, she informed the undertaker that she wanted the following
inscription engraved on her tombstone:

"BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED AS A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN"

Not long after, the old maid died peacefully.

A few days after the funeral, as the undertaker/postal clerk went to
prepare the tombstone that the lady had requested, it became quite
apparent that the tombstone that she had selected was much too small for
the wording that she had chosen.

He thought long and hard about how he could fulfil the old maid's final
request, considering the very limited space available on the small piece
of stone.

For days, he agonised over the dilemma.

But finally his experience as a postal worker allowed him to come up with
what he thought was the appropriate solution to the problem.

The virgin's tombstone was finally completed and duly engraved, and it
read as follows:

"RETURNED UNOPENED"