nilesfunnies

Monday, October 17, 2005

[nilesfunnies] Fw: Lawyers practising


Lawyers practising in the local Magistrates Court should never ask the
local gossip a question.....
.....if they aren't prepared for the answer. In the Magistrates Court, a
lawyer acting for the claimant called his first witness, a grandmotherly,
elderly woman to the stand.

He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams I've known you
since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment
to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk
about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you
haven't the brains to realise you never will amount to anything more than
a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The Lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the
room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defendants Lawyer?"

She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He
can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his legal practice is
one of the worst. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three
different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."

The defence Lawyer almost died.

The JP asked both Lawyers to approach the bench, and in a very quiet
voice, said, "If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me, I'll
throw your sorry asses in jail for contempt."