[nilesfunnies] Fw: Zagat outtakes
Zagat outtakes
>From the US:
The Zagat guides are a series of little red books rating restaurants in a
variety of cities. Instead of using a single reviewer, they work by
gathering multiple reviews from volunteers, averaging the numerical
ratings, and assembling text filled with quotes from the submitted
reviews.
On their web site is an "outtakes" section, gathering the best quotes that
their lawyers wouldn't allow them to use in the official reviews. For
instance,
Be sure to sit in the no-shooting section.
If this place doesnt get you laid, nothing will.
A petri dish gone horribly, horribly wrong.
Chefs responsibility is to turn on the microwave.
If I want a fatty sandwich served by a walking attitude, I'll go to moms.
The proportions are the size of Jesse Helms grants to the arts.
Grandma cooked like this, grandpa died young.
Have yet to learn that heat is an integral part of the cooking process.
Breaking bread should not mean you have to use the side of the table.
The quiche of death.
Thought I heard the sound of a thousand dead Italian grandmothers roll
over in their graves when I entered.
The rodents wear aprons and bus tables on slow nights.
Ignore the cat's rump parked on the table you're about to be served on.
The staff is as pleasant as a truck driver with hemorrhoids.
Underneath the BBQ sauce, expect any number of surprises, from the
unrecognizable to the undead.
Service was slower than geology.
Would have taken a chain saw to cut through the squid.
More plastic boobs in the bar area than a Barbie collection.
Watching over-50 gay bikers sing Barbra Streisand is now off my to-do
list.
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