[nilesfunnies] Fw: Obituary: The Sad Passing of Common Sense

Obituary: The Sad Passing of Common Sense

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who
has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was
since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the
worm; life isn’t always fair; and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more
than you earn), and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children,
are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when
well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports
of a six- year old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a
classmate, teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch,
and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his
condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the
job they failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined
even further when schools were required to get parental consent to
administer Panadol, sun lotion or a sticky plaster to a student, but
could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted
to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became
contraband, churches became businesses and criminals received better
treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you
couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar
can sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live
after a woman failed to realise that a steaming cup of coffee was hot.
She spilled a little in her lap and was awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his
wife, Discretion, his daughter, Responsibility, and his son, Reason. He
is survived by three stepbrothers, I Know My Rights, Someone Else is To
Blame and I’m A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few
realised he was gone.