[nilesfunnies] Fw: Bible Sales

A minister concluded that his church was getting into serious financial
troubles.

While checking the church storeroom, he discovered several cartons of
new bibles that had never been opened and distributed. So at his Sunday
sermon he asked for three volunteers from the congregation who would be
willing to sell the bibles door-to-door for $10 each to raise the
desperately needed money for the church.

Peter, Paul and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the task.
The minister knew that Peter and Paul earned their living as salesmen
and were likely capable of selling some bibles but he had serious doubts
about Louie.
Louie was just a little local farmer, who had always tended to keep to
himself because he was embarrassed by his speech impediment. Poor little
Louis stuttered very badly. But, not wanting to discourage poor Louis,
the minister decided to let him try anyway.

He sent the three of them away with the back seat of their cars stacked
with bibles and asked them to meet with him and report the results of
their door-to-door selling efforts the following Sunday.

Anxious to find out how successful they were, the minister immediately
asked Peter, "Well, Peter, how did you make out selling our bibles last
week?"

Proudly handing the reverend an envelope, Peter replied, "using my sales
prowess, I was able to sell 20 bibles, and here's the $200 I collected
on behalf of the church."

"Fine job, Peter!" The minister said, vigorously shaking his hand.
"You are indeed a fine salesman and the Church is indebted to you."
Turning to Paul, he asked "And Paul, how many bibles did you manage to
sell for the church last week?"

Paul, smiling and sticking out his chest, confidently replied, "I am a
professional salesman and was happy to give the church the benefit of my
sales expertise. Last week I sold 28 bibles on behalf of the church, and
here's $280 I collected."

The minister responded, "That's absolutely splendid, Paul. You are truly
a professional salesman and the church is also indebted to you."

Apprehensively, the minister turned to little Louie and said, "And
Louie, did you manage to sell any bibles last week?"

Louie silently offered the minister a large envelope. The reverend
opened it and counted the contents. "What is this?" the minister
exclaimed.
"Louie, there's $3200 in here! Are you suggesting that you sold 320
bibles for the church, door to door, in just one week?

Louie just nodded.

That's impossible!" both Peter and Paul said in unison. "We are
professional salesmen, yet you claim to have sold 10 times as many
bibles as we could."

"Yes, this does seem unlikely," the minister agreed. "I think you'd
better explain how you managed to accomplish this, Louie."

Louie shrugged. "I-I-I- re-re-really do-do-don't kn-kn-know f-f-f-for
sh-sh-sh-sure," he stammered.

Impatiently, Peter interrupted. "For crying out loud, Louie, just tell
us what you said to them when they answered the door!"

"A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said wa-wa-was," Louis replied, "W-w-w-w-would
y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy th-th-th-this b-b-b-b-bible
f-f-for t-t-ten b-b-b-bucks ---o-o-o-or--- wo-wo-would yo-you j-j-j-just
l-like m-m-me t-t-to st-st-stand h-h-here and r-r-r-r-r-read it t-to
y-y-you?"

A cheerful heart is good medicine... (Prov 17:22)

--------
Joshua.

---- End Forwarded Message ----