nilesfunnies

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

[nilesfunnies] Fw: BLONDE LOGIC

BLONDE LOGIC
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench
talking, and one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is
farther away... Florida or the moon?"
The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you
see Florida ?????"


CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells
the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling
smoothly.
She says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburettor"
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"


SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks
her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your
act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you
expect me to show it to you!"


RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river
and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts,
"How can I get to the other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river
and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."


AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE - my personal favourite!
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office
and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder
and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She
pushed her knee and screamed;
likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere
she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is
broken."


KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on
the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the
blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights
and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn
and yelled, "PULL OVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"


BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one
day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"
The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first
on the sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and
shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn
up!" said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you
know. We're going at night!"


IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was
her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her
question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can
you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or
off?"


FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired
two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded
by saying that one was named
Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever
heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're watch
dogs!"


---- End Forwarded Message ----