[nilesfunnies] Damned by faint praise

Damned by faint praise

Bush was scheduled to visit the Episcopal Church in NW
Washington as part of his campaign to restore his 28%
approval rating in the polls.

Karl Rove made a visit to the Bishop and said, "We've been
getting a lot of bad publicity because of the President's
position on stem cell research, the Iraq war, Hurricane
Katrina, and the VA Hospitals. But, we'll make a $500,000
contribution to your church if during your sermon
you will say that the President is a saint.

The Bishop thought it over for a few moments and finally
said, The Church could really use the money - I'll do it."

The following Sunday, President Bush showed up for the
sermon, and the Bishop began:

"I'd like to speak to all of you this morning about our
President, George Bush. He is a liar, a cheat, and a
low-intelligence weasel.

He took the tragedy of September 11 and used it to frighten
and manipulate the American people. He lied about weapons of
mass destruction and invaded Iraq for oil and money, causing
the deaths of hundreds of thousands and
making the United States the most hated nation on earth.

"He appointed cronies to positions of power and influence,
leading to widespread death and destruction during
Hurricane Katrina. He awarded contracts and tax cuts to his
rich friends so that we now have more poverty in this
country and a greater gap between rich and poor than
we've had since the Depression.

"He has headed the most corrupt, bribe-inducing political
party since Teapot Dome Scandal.

"The national surplus has turned into a staggering national
debt of 77.6 trillion dollars; gas prices are up 185%, which
the people of America cannot afford, and vital research
into global warming and stem cells is
stopped cold because he's afraid to lose votes from the
religious right.

"He is the worst example of a true Christian I've ever
known.

"But compared to Dick Cheney, George W. Bush is a saint."