[nilesfunnies] Fwd: Fw: Golfing Nun

Golfing Nun

A nun walks into the Mother Superior's office and plunks down into a
chair. She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration.

"What troubles you, Sister?" asks the Mother Superior. "I thought this was
the day you spent with your family."

"It was," sighed the Sister. "And I went to play golf with my brother. We
try to play golf as often as we can. You know I was quite a talented
golfer before I devoted my life to Christ."

"I seem to recall that," the Mother Superior agreed. "So I take it your
day of recreation was not relaxing?"

"Far from it," snorted the Sister. "In fact, I even took the Lord's name
in vain today!!!

"Goodness, Sister!" gasped the Mother Superior, astonished. "You must tell
me all about it!!

"Well, we were on the fifth tee...and this hole is a monster, Mother - 540
yard Par! 5, with a nasty dogleg left and a hidden green...and I hit the
drive of my life. I creamed it. The sweetest swing I ever made. And it's
flying straight and true, right along the line I wanted...and it hits a
bird in mid-flight not 100 yards off the tee!"

"Oh my!" commiserated the Mother. "How unfortunate! But surely that didn't
make you blaspheme, Sister!"

"No, that wasn't it," admitted Sister. "While I was still trying to fathom
what had happened, this squirrel runs out of the woods, grabs my ball and
runs off down the fairway!"

"Oh, that would have made me blaspheme!" sympathised Mother.

"But I didn't, Mother Superior!" sobbed the Sister. "And I was so proud of
myself! And while I was pondering whether this was a sign from God, this
hawk swoops out of the sky and grabs the squirrel and flies off, with my
ball still clutched in his paws!!

"So that's when you cursed," said the Mother with a knowing smile.

"Nope, that wasn't it either," cried the Sister, anguished, "because as
the hawk started to fly out of sight, the squirrel started struggling, and
the hawk dropped him right there on the green, and the ball popped out of
his paws and rolled to about 12 inches from the cup!"

The Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms across her
chest, fixed the Sister with a baleful stare and said...

"You missed the fucking putt, didn't you?"