[nilesfunnies] Fw: Reminds me of one of Ronnie Scott's:

Leah Berg is Bennie Goldstein's secretary He's 75, and Leah has
worked for him for fifteen years. One day she comes to him in tears
"Mr Goldstein, I've done a terrible thing. My mother is very ill, and
I've been borrowing money from the company to pay for her treatment.
It's got to £4,000 now, and the auditors are in next week, and I don't
know what to do, and I thought I'd better tell you.."

Goldstein thinks. "Well, Miss Berg, I think it's a matter for the
police. But you've been a good secretary, so maybe we could come to
some arrangement. Come upstairs with me and we'll say no more."

Half an hour later, Goldstein gets out of bed. "It's no good, Miss
Berg. It'll have to be the police"