[nilesfunnies] A chap answered the door and found two blokes in suits outside. Th

A chap answered the door and found two blokes in suits outside. They asked
him what kind of bread he liked and he replied "white".

They then spent 25 minutes haranguing him about the virtues of brown
bread.

The were the Hovis witnesses.

[nilesfunnies] Fwd: Fw: Olympics Speech

Olympics Speech
President Bush(*) is rehearsing his speech for the ceremonies at the
Beijing 2008 Olympic Games. He begins his remarks with "Ooo! Ooo! Ooo!
Ooo! Ooo!"

Immediately his speech writer rushes over and whispers in his ear: "Sir,
those are the Olympic rings. Your speech is underneath!"

(*) Replace with suitable politician/ethnic/celebrity name as required.

[nilesfunnies] Fwd: BIRTHDAY REMINDER

This week we celebrate a special birthday!

Monica Lewinsky turned 34.

Can you believe it?

It seems like only yesterday she was crawling around the White House
on her hands and knees, and putting everything in her mouth.

They grow up so fast, don't they????