Sunday, September 28, 2008

[nilesfunnies] Fwd: [Funnies] Fw: What's the matter

What's the matter
An English teacher spent a lot of time marking grammatical errors on her
students' written work. She wasn't sure how much impact she was having
until one overly busy day she sat at her desk rubbing her temples.

A student asked, "What's the matter, Mrs. Sheridan?"

"Tense," she replied, describing her emotional state.

After a slight pause the student tried again ... "What was the matter?
What has been the matter? What might have been the matter? ...?"

Friday, September 12, 2008

[nilesfunnies] polyglot gag:

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a German and an Italian are sitting together
discussing the relative merits of their languages.

"To take a single example," says the Englishman, "what name better
suggests the beautiful, delicate motion of that creature we call a

"Ah," says the Frenchman, "but surely the glorious intricacy of its
markings and designs is captured utterly in the word /papillon/."

"Si," says the Italian, "but the frame of the creature itself, the
combination of grace and precariousness, is evoked to perfection by the
name /farfalla/."

"And what," says the German grouchily, "is wrong with /Schmetterling/ ?"

Friday, September 05, 2008

[nilesfunnies] Invite...


---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Funnies Mailing List <>

You are all invited to a family BBQ at a Mansion in Shropshire.

There'll be plenty of beer, but sadly no Fosters!

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

[nilesfunnies] the farmer and the moneylender

Farmer and the Money Lender

Many years ago in a small Indian village, a farmer had the misfortune
of owing a large sum of money to a village moneylender. The
moneylender, who was old and ugly, fancied the farmer's beautiful
daughter. So he proposed a bargain.

He said he would forgo the farmer's debt if he could marry his
daughter. Both the farmer and his daughter were horrified by the
proposal. So the cunning money-lender suggested that they let
providence decide the matter. He told them that he would put a black
pebble and a white pebble into an empty money bag. Then the girl would
have to pick one pebble from the bag.

1) If she picked the black pebble, she would become his wife and her
father's debt would be forgiven.

2) If she picked the white pebble she need not marry him and her
father's debt would still be forgiven.

3) But if she refused to pick a pebble, her father would be thrown into jail.

They were standing on a pebble strewn path in the farmer's field. As
they talked, the moneylender bent over to pick up two pebbles. As he
picked them up, the sharp-eyed girl noticed that he had picked up two
black pebbles and put them into the bag. He then asked the girl to
pick a pebble from the bag.

Now, imagine that you were standing in the field. What would you have
done if you were the girl? If you had to advise her, what would you
have told her?

Careful analysis would produce three possibilities:
1. The girl should refuse to take a pebble.

2. The girl should show that there were two black pebbles in the bag
and expose the money-lender as a cheat.

3. The girl should pick a black pebble and sacrifice herself in order
to save her father from his debt and imprisonment.

Take a moment to ponder over the story. The above story is used with
the hope that it will make us appreciate the difference between
lateral and logical thinking. The girl's dilemma cannot be solved with
traditional logical thinking. Think of the consequences if she chooses
the above logical answers.

What would you recommend to the Girl to do?

Well, here is what she did ....

The girl put her hand into the moneybag and drew out a pebble. Without
looking at it, she fumbled and let it fall onto the pebble-strewn path
where it immediately became lost among all the other pebbles.

'Oh, how clumsy of me,' she said. 'But never mind, if you look into
the bag for the one that is left, you will be able to tell which
pebble I picked.' Since the remaining pebble is black, it must be
assumed that she had picked the white one. And since the money-lender
dared not admit his dishonesty, the girl changed what seemed an
impossible situation into an extremely advantageous one.