[nilesfunnies] Dirty Clothes

A young couple moves into a new neighborhood. The next morning while
they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees her neighbour hanging
the wash outside. "That laundry is not very clean", she said. "She
doesn't know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry
soap" Her husband looked on, but remained silent.

Every time her neighbour would hang her wash to dry, the young woman
would make the same comments.

About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean
wash on the line and said to her husband: "Look, she has learned how
to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this?

The husband said, "I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows."

[nilesfunnies] Message from John McCain

Message from John McCain
You might recall that John Hinckley was a seriously deranged young man
who shot President Reagan in the early 1980s. Hinckley was absolutely
obsessed with movie star Jodie Foster, extremely jealous, and in his
twisted mind, loved Jodie Foster to the point that to make himself well
known to her, he attempted to assassinate President Reagan. There is
speculation Hinckley may soon be released as having been rehabilitated.
Consequently, you may appreciate the following letter from John McCain
that the staff at the mental facility, treating Hinckley, reports to
have intercepted this past weekend:

To: John Hinckley
From: John McCain

My wife and I wanted to drop you a short note to tell you how pleased we
are with the great strides you are making in your recovery. In our fine
country's new spirit of understanding and forgiveness, we want you to
know there is a bilateral consensus of compassion and forgiveness
throughout.

My wife Cindy and I want you to know that no grudge is borne against you
for shooting President Reagan. We, above all, are aware of how the
mental stress and pain could have driven you to such an act of
desperation. We are confident that you will soon make a complete
recovery and return to your family to join the world again as a healthy
and productive young man.

Best Wishes,

John and Cindy McCain

P.S. Thought you should know that Barack Obama has been shagging Jodie
Foster.