[nilesfunnies] Worried

Worried
I applied for a job as a bin man the other day. I was a little worried
I wouldn't fully understand but apparently you pick it up as you go
along.

[nilesfunnies] What

What do you call a camel with four humps?

A Saudi quattro

[nilesfunnies] Good luck in your new job, JUST CHECK OUT THE SMALL PRINT ON THAT

What The New Job-Lingo Means

"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY"
We have no time to train you.

"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE"
We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of
the real daring guys wear earrings.

"MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED"
You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED"
Some time each night and some time each weekend.

"DUTIES WILL VARY"
Anyone in the office can boss you around.

"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL"
We have no quality control.

"CAREER-MINDED"
Female applicants must be childless (and remain that way).

"NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE"
We've filled the job; our call for applicants is just a legal formality.

"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE"
You'll need it to replace three people who just left.

"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST"
You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS"
You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or
respect.

"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS"
Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do
it.

[nilesfunnies] Thomas de Quincey

I came across a quote to-day - attributed to Thomas de Quincey

'If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think
little of robbing; and from robbing he comes next to drinking and
Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination.'