[nilesfunnies] Fw: SCIENTISTS DISCOVER NEW ELEMENT

SCIENTISTS DISCOVER NEW ELEMENT

A major research institution has just announced the discovery of the
heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named
"Governmentium". Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant
neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons,
giving it an atomic mass of 311.

These 311 particles are held together by forces called morons, which
are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called
peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be
detected, as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into
contact.

A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over 4
days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay,
but, instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the
assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since
each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons,
forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some
scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons
reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical
quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass". When catalyzed with
money Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element which
radiates just as much energy, since it has 1/2 as many peons but
twice as many morons.

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