[nilesfunnies] Fw: Respiratory Safety Policy
Respiratory Safety Policy
In line with the new breed of nanny H&S Policies, here is the logical
extension:
The Company has compiled this policy as a means of highlighting and
reducing risks to employees during their general business and domestic
activities.
RISK ASSESSMENT RISK ASSESSMENT
Company employees who breath during work
NATURE OF WORK:
The nature of the activity reflects breathing for the purpose of
oxygenating haemoglobin in the work and domestic environment.
NATURE OF THE HAZARDS:
1. Exposure to toxic agents, such has oxygen, nitrogen, carbon dioxide
2. Exposure to particulate materials
3. Exposure to microbial contamination that could cause common cold,
influenza or other RTI
4. Life.
PROCEDURES TO MINIMISE RISKS:
It is the responsibility of the employee to ensure that the following
occurs and is adhered to whilst breathing on company business whether in
company owned air or a privately owned air.
Breathers will ensure that they are adequately insured to extract and
process company air prior to commencing inspiration. Breathers of
normally private air will ensure that their insurance covers business
use (consult your Insurance Company).
Breathers must ensure that their nostrils and lungs are in compliance
with air safety regulations.
Breathers must ensure that they are licensed and competent to breath
the type of air to be inspired and the company has an up to date copy
of the licence for the type of air breathed.
The breather must ensure that the air being inspired is regularly
oxygenated and is legal in all respects and has an up to date AIR
certificate (if applicable).
The breather will plan breathing to ensure it is suitable and to fit
in with their working day and activities.
The breather will ensure that the body is in good condition prior to
starting inspiration. A visual inspection will be made of
Nose, to ensure a clear un-restricted passage is available.
Mouth is clear and not obstructed by food, cigarettes, biros which may
impede breathing.
The breather will also check for the presence of water, blood, urine
or fecal deposits below the body, which could indicate leaks.
Upon starting inspiration, the breather will listen for unusual
sounds, which could indicate damage to the body. The breather should
stop breathing immediately and seek assistance if unsure.
If upon starting to breath, the body handles unusually then the
breather will not continue without further investigation and repair.
All bodies must be maintained regularly according to the
manufacturers (God plc.) recommendations. In the case of company
bodies, it is the responsibility of the breather or where the body is
shared between personnel the department head to ensure compliance with
this requirement. Breathers must not use bodies for which there is any
concern about the state of maintenance
Intoxication, whether alcohol or drug related, is a serious offence,
and breathers will not use bodies when under the influence of alcohol or
drugs.
HAZARDS:
Oxygen is known to be dangerous and immediately life threatening in high
concentrations. It has been established by the government that there is
no actual safe lower limit of oxygen exposure. Inspiration is know cause
of oxygen exposure and it is the companys responsibility to protect
its employees from unnecessary exposure to toxic substances. As a
result, inspiration is no longer permitted.
Carbon dioxide is known greenhouse gas and expiration is a proven source
of CO2. Indeed 5% of every expired breath is CO2. The company is
required to by government to reduce Greenhouse Gas emissions by 20% by
2010 and as a result, expiration of CO2 is no longer permitted.
Pathogens: Inspiration is an established cause of infection of the upper
respiratory tract by known pathogens. Upper Respiratory Tract Infections
are known to cause loss of work performance and even extended sick leave
in the case Near Terminal Male Flu. Employees believed to have been
breathing in the presence of such pathogens will be considered to have
self inflicted their disease state and will no longer be eligible for
sick pay.
Life. Life is a known cause of death with a near 100% mortality rate.
The company has a legal obligation to protect its employees from risk
of death, therefore Life is no longer permitted.
---- End Forwarded Message ----
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