[nilesfunnies] Fw: Diana Remembered
BOOKS of Indifference were opened at B&Q branches across the country
today for men who could not a give a monkeys about the 10th anniversary
of the death of Diana, Princess of Wales.
Large queues had formed by early morning as ordinary fuckers stood in
line for the chance to express in writing their utter amazement that
anyone still gave a fucking toss.
No flowers were left to rot into a smelly pulp at a makeshift shrine,
and few words were spoken as the men waited patiently, many of them
writing a simple "What the fuck?" before heading off to buy a
three-litre tub of Polyfilla.
Dick Chalmers, 34, visiting the B&Q Warehouse in Cockermouth, Buttsex,
wrote: "So much for the much vaunted safety features of the S Class!",
before his mate Terry Dactail, amazingly also 34, added "Next time love,
wear a fooking seatbelt".
Ben Dee Willy, 39, summed up the feelings of many when he wrote "wank"
in the book at the superstore. His best friend Clint Rubbers, 38, added
"I shag arses, call me" and the number of Mr Dee Willy's mobile phone.
R.S. Hunter, 187, demanded to be wheeled from his old folks home in
Niggerbuggery to his local B&Q so he could write: "I strangled Germans
with my bare hands for this you know." Philip Myring, his carer, said:
"He always writes that now, even on his Christmas cards."
Hugh Cox, 43, wrote "Mine's a large one" while Rodger Littleboys, 17,
added: "Nice nips!!!" Willy Fidget, 22, put down "cock", Ivor STD, 57,
wrote "Tit's oot" and Rashid Bellend, 45, added "fanny".
Prince Philip was one of the first to sign, although he was immediately
accused of hypocrisy for feigning indifference when it was well known he
hated Diana and ordered her assassination by the British secret service.
Peter Ninja, the MI5 operative who led the complex operation to kill the
black eyed dozy arabfucker Diana, was another early signatory. He also
denied charges of insincerity saying he had only been obeying orders
when he brutaly murdered the Princess. "It was strictly business," he
said. "Nothing personal." "Although I did drop my fee for that one"
<< Home