[nilesfunnies] Re: Xmas greetings

BAH ! I can't see what sense there is
In styling Christmas "Merry"!
It never brought me anything,
But double work and worry;
From morn, to night for one whole month
it's naught but push and hurry.

From all the 'months of all the year,
December still will borrow,
The good old rule, " Don't do to-day
What can be done tomorrow,"
Crowds two months' labours into one-
I know it to my sorrow!

December! what a likely month
To talk of being jolly!
When everyone seems crazed for "green,
There's nothing green but holly-
Except the dupes who strive with mirth,
To drown their melancholy.

Then there's the frost, and snow, and fog-
Such "seasonable weather!"
and storms of rain, and wind, and slates
All mingled up together;
If one can bear it all and live,
One must be tough as leather.

Yes; what with these, and much besides,
Which I'll not fail to mention,
Where in the world the fun comes in
Is past my comprehension!
A pleasant relaxation? - No!
A little tighter tension.

Why, every lout I ever met,
In office, street, or station,
Expects - and gets(?) - a Christmas box-
"A slight consideration."
As though I had a diamond mine,
Or pension from the nation!

And then at home it's just as bad,
A huge, rise, in expenses;
I must buy this, subscribe to that-
Such pretexts and pretences!
While butchers', bakers', grocers' bills
'Most drive me from my senses.

There's nothing in the house to eat
(They call this jubilation)
But puddings, tarts, mincepies, and cakes-
A wonderful creation.
There's no, escape - it must go down,
It's nightmare or starvation!

So I shall hold, whate'er they say,
This season much o'er-rated;
In fact, to me the whole thing is
A bore unmitigated.
Thank heaven it comes but once a year,
And very much belated

ALF. B. COOPER.

From The Captain, December 1900


------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor --------------------~-->
$4.98 domain names from Yahoo!. Register anything.
http://us.click.yahoo.com/Q7_YsB/neXJAA/yQLSAA/ZkgolB/TM
--------------------------------------------------------------------~->