[nilesfunnies] Smutty limericks

There was a bohemian monk
Who was lying one night in his bed
He dreamt that the Venus
was sucking his elbow
And woke up all covered in perspiration

The limerick packs laughs anatomical
In a space that is quite economical
But the good ones I've seen
So seldom are clean
And the clean ones so seldom are comical

A habit obscene and unsavoury
Held the Bishop of Wessex in slavery.
With maniacal howls
He buggered young owls
That he kept in an underground aviary.

There was a young lady from Bude,
Who went for a swim in the lake
A man in a punt
Stuck a pole up her nose
And said "You can't do that here, it's private"

A bather whose clothing was strewed,
By breezes that left her quite nude,
Saw a man come along
And, unless i'm quite wrong,
You expected this line to be lewd!

There was an old bishop from Birmingham
Who screwed little girls while confirming 'em.
To rapturous applause
He would take off their drawers
And inject his episcopal sperm in 'em

The Bishop of Central Japan
Used to bugger himself with a fan.
When taxed with his acts
He said, "It contracts
And expands so much more than a man!"

A mathematician named Hall,
has a dodecahedronal ball.
The square of its weight,
times 11, plus 8,
is his phone number - give him a call!

There was a young man from Devizes,
whose bollocks were different sizes.
The left one was small,
and was no use at all,
but the right one was huge, and won prizes.