[nilesfunnies] Fw: The Twelve Truths of Life

The Twelve Truths of Life

12. Life is sexually transmitted.

11. Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can
die.

10. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without
an erection, make him a sandwich!

9. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a
person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

8. Some people are like Slinkies...not really good for anything,
but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the
stairs.

7. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in
hospitals dying of nothing.

6. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

5. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no
attention to criticism.

4. Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred pounds and
a substantial tax cut saves you thirty pence?

3. In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the
world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

2. Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I
have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

1. Many terrorists come to America legally and hang around on
expired visas (some for as long as 10-15 years). At Blockbuster you're two
days late with a video rental and those people are all over you. I think
we should put Blockbuster in charge of US immigration.




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