[nilesfunnies] Holiday

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A New York woman was at her hairdresser's on Park Avenue getting her hair
cut prior to a vacation in Rome with her boyfriend.

She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded, "Rome? Why would
anyone want to go there? Italy's crowded, dirty and full of Italians.
You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"

"Were taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"

"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline. Their
planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late.
So, where are you staying in Rome?"

"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's left bank called
Teste..."

"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it's gonna be
something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump, the worst hotel in
the city! The rooms are small, the service is surly and they're overpriced.
So, whatcha doing when you get there?"

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope."

"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other people
trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this
lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."

A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked
her about her vacation in Rome.

"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one
of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked and they bumped us
up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome
28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot. And the hotel--it was
great! They'd just finished a $5-million remodeling job and now it's a
jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were over-booked, so they
apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you
didn't get to see the Pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss
Guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained that the Pope likes to meet
some of the visitors and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room
and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes
later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and
he spoke a few words to me."

"Oh, really...what'd he say?"

He asked, "Where'd you get the awful hair cut?

--
Niles, Nottingham |
ICQ UIN 12724766 | A picture was worth a thousand words...
| ... but that was before they devalued the word
www.niles.org.uk | Tom Lehrer