[nilesfunnies] Fw: New Disease in the States

New Disease in the States
The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent
strain of Sexually Transmitted Disease. This disease is contracted through
dangerous and high risk behavior.

The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim (pronounced "gonna re-elect him.")

Many victims contracted it in 2004, after having been screwed for the past
4 years, in spite of having taken measures to protect themselves from this
especially troublesome disease.

Cognitive sequelae of individuals infected with Gonorrhea Lectim include,
but are not limited to:

Anti-social personality disorder traits;
- delusions of grandeur with a distinct messianic flavor;
- chronic mangling of the English language;
- extreme cognitive dissonance;
- inability to incorporate new information;
- pronounced xenophobia;
- inability to accept responsibility for actions;
- exceptional cowardice masked by acts of misplaced bravado;
- uncontrolled facial smirking; ignorance of geography and history;
- tendencies toward creating evangelical theocracies;
- and a strong propensity for categorical, all-or-nothing behavior.

The disease is sweeping Washington. Naturalists and epidemiologists are
amazed and baffled that this malignant disease originated only a few years
ago from a Texas Bush.