[nilesfunnies] Fw: As a child,

As a child, I remember that easily the most disappointing presents were
the obviously secondhand jigsaw puzzles from my Uncle Alan. First, I
always hated jigsaw puzzles. Second, they were shit pictures of
carnations or Jesus (he was an avid godbotherer, Billy Graham acolyte),
not blazing dogfights between Spitfires and Me109's, or ladies with no
clothes on.
Third, there were invariably pieces missing, quite often pieces from
other puzzles included. On one occasion, the puzzle was in an entirely
unrelated box with a different idyllic country scene on the front.

I tried to pass them on to my sister, who loved puzzles, in an act of
faux generosity, but after the first time she was having none of that.

I think he must have bought a job lot at a Church fete for 1s6d, and
each year for about 7 years, he sent one. Having to write a thankyou
letter for this shite was a lesson in hypocrisy which set me against
polite society for life. These days, kids would grass to Social Services
via a hotline, as anything worth less than £200 is considered child abuse.

---- End Forwarded Message ----

.